Burnout from life is no joke. Those of us living with trauma or mental illness are stress tolerant like none other. We’re hardy people because if we weren’t, we wouldn’t still be here.
One of the many problems with this stress tolerance is that we explain away or chalk up impending burnout to our usual stress instead of the warning signs that burnout symptoms really are. Burnout can lead to chronic inflammation, heart disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, digestion issues, chronic pain, decreased fertility in women, cancer, arthritis, and a whole host of other things. These are just the physical risks, by the way, excluding the mental and behavioral.
Here’s a good article if you’re interested in reading about the link between cortisol, inflammation, and disease. Gabor Maté also walks you through just how chronic stress can lead to skin problems, autoimmune disease, etc. in his book The Myth of Normal. Lastly, the Mayo Clinic has a pretty good article on job-related burnout.
I also want to lift this quote from Maté because it applies to chronic stress tolerance as well.
There is no formal diagnosis for burnout (what I’m calling burnout from life) in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Health care professionals in the United States and much of the world use this handbook “as the authoritative guide to the diagnosis of mental disorders” (per the APA). Medical professionals can and do diagnose patients for illnesses not in the DSM-5, but this comes down to the doctor you’re seeing.
Exhaustion disorder (“utbrändhet”) is a diagnosis only used in Sweden (where I live). More and more people end up on medical leave with this diagnosis, but apparently it will be phased out by 2028.
If you’re interested in reading about chronic stress and the brain-body connection, here’s an interesting scientific article. In another scientific article, the authors question whether burnout should be considered a mental disorder. They even begin their introduction with, “Described as a modern affliction of epidemic proportions[…].” Enough said.
The federal law that “provides job-protected leave from work for family and medical reasons,” including for mental health conditions, is called the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA).The FMLA does not cover burnout (surprise), but it does cover mental diagnoses like anxiety and depression. The FMLA itself has big caveats in that it only applies to “covered employees and employers.”
To be a covered employee, you have to have worked for a covered employer for at least 12 months (there are other requirements as well). To be a covered private sector employer, a company must have 50 or more employees in 20 or more workweeks within a 75-mile radius.
Oh, and if you do somehow qualify for medical leave under the FMLA and can afford to take leave (because it’s unpaid unless you can use paid leave from work), you get a maximum of 3 months off work. Insurance companies also won’t compensate for a disability claim for burnout. Better get better quickly!
Side note: 18 states provide for Paid Family Medical Leave (PFML), of which New York is one.
Employers are also not allowed to retaliate against employees who take medical leave under the FMLA, but let’s be honest, they do. You’re technically protected under the FMLA, but you won’t have the energy or evidence to pursue a claim or the money to sue your employer, sooooo…
There are physical, mental, behavioral, financial, and legal reasons why preventing burnout from life is so incredibly important.
Here are some warning signs that you’re about to, or have, hit the wall (“gå in i väggen,” as they say here):
You got up and don’t know why. Forget what you were saying in the middle of a sentence. You forget words for things, which makes things like grocery shopping a nightmare. You write everything down because if you drop even one ball, you’re walking a fine line at work.
You need a nap after taking a shower. Can barely take yourself from bed to the kitchen even when it’s 20 feet away. You can’t exercise – you can barely even get up the stairs to your walk-up apartment. No amount of sleep helps.
People on the phone, children laughing or fighting, multiple sounds happening at the same time leaves you panicked and overstimulated. You’re completely intolerant to any situation that is not at least 90% calm, and living in a big city makes that so much harder.
Does this end? Can I get better? How can I rest when I have to work and pay bills? Anxiety, helplessness, and existentialism start to seep in.
You often get sick. Your heart races. You sleep poorly. Your head hurts. Everything aches. You get diarrhea. Your whole body is out of whack and wondering what the heck is going on.
If you have a GP or therapist, speak to them about what you’re going through. Beg if you need to for an anxiety diagnosis or something else you can reasonably show symptoms of. Yes I know this is effed up and ethically unsound but we’re not playing. You live in an effed up work/legal system and you are most likely actually experiencing high anxiety or depression so I don’t feel bad for suggesting this.
Do what you need to.
If that’s not possible, speak with your boss and see if you can work remotely (preferably with reduced hours for a month if you’re able to swing it financially). Think through how to pitch this as a long-term investment for the team and company – you still work but you also avoid medical leave. Burnout from life is not going away – if you don’t rest and recover, your body will do so for you at the most inconvenient time.
If you can work remotely and you have family or a place to stay in a calmer environment, pack your bags and head on out. Unless really financially necessary, don’t even take on looking for a temporary roommate replacement because you don’t have that effort left in you (please don’t say “challenge accepted”).
We are in complete triage and recovery mode now and we will do what is necessary to become a fully functioning human being again. Forget being nice and doing the morally right thing. It’s every woman for herself and this point and we will not apologize for prioritizing ourselves.
One last thing: this is not your fault. You are not weak in character, body or mind.
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8 Responses
This is such a relevant issue today for a lot of people. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for letting me know it felt relevant! I feel like we need concrete information about how to live with this, not just “rest and recover.”
I like reading about what terms you use in Sweden. I know I have “gå in i väggen,” as you say, several times in my career so this is great information to know what routes are available!
They do have some fun expressions over here! I’m sorry to hear that you’ve also experienced that, it’s a maddening situation to be in. Glad I can help in some small way!
Such a pertinent topic, especially for women in a world where we have so many expectations to fill, yet are required to look and act as if we are polished perfection.
Exactly! We can never relax, but we have to or else our bodies and minds will do it for us.
Wow, so helpful! Burnout is a real thing that I wish more employers would recognize. Love the legal tips in this article, it’s sad how many hoops you have to jump through to get a break! Thanks for sharing this! Great advice!
SO. MANY. HOOPS. No probs! Glad it was helpful 🙂