Oh good. Mental Health Awareness Month is here. Again. And with it, an influx of “happy and healthy” influencers telling us all how to find inner peace, companies peddling their wares as the solution to our woes, and even some content creators who have built a whole community around living with chronic or mental illness buying into the hype.
It’s gross, it’s performative, and for some, it’s actually damaging. Now I’m definitely not saying let’s all be grumpy about mental health awareness or the concept of not struggling every minute, but I am a big fan of being intentional about doing things that genuinely bring us joy as opposed to just looking like we’re happy and healthy.
Thoughts and feelings have to be – you guessed it – thought and felt. “Fake it ‘til you make it” might be a helpful mentality for some when it comes to skillset, i.e. “I might not know how to do that one thing but I’m gonna do it anyway.” When it comes to unwanted thoughts and emotions that are chronic, however, that’s not the case. It’s tempting to just pretend for a short while that you’re not in the mental/emotional place you’re in, but in my experience, that “short while” is never enjoyable anyway because I know it’s fake.
Now maybe this is partly because I’m the kind of person who doesn’t do or say anything if it’s not real or true. If I have to fake it, pretend, lie, or otherwise eliminate the truth or realness of something, I’m not into it. With that said, though, I still stand by the premise that performative positivity is often more damaging for those of us living with mental illness than it is beneficial.
The more we fake being happy and healthy, the more we’re reminded of how far we are from that version of ourselves. It’s like we goad ourselves into apathy and disgust of who we are by reminding ourselves of the very thing we’re not and the very thing we want most to be.
This is why I love the idea of glimmers, paired with being unapologetically you.
Genuine and intentional joy and appreciation don’t just come in big packages of nights out, concerts, big friend groups, and so on. They come in small and mid-sized packages too, like cooking a yummy meal, listening to a great song while taking a hot shower, painting your nails a pretty color, or reading a good book in bed when it’s pouring down rain outside.
Are you cured of all ailments? No, of course not. Are you giving yourself time to do something nice for yourself (and your nervous system)? Yeah!
Through intentional moments of joy and feeling good, we coax out the (hopefully playful) kid in us who wants nothing more than to be just who they are, as they are, with full permission to do whatever (legal and not harmful) activity that brings them guilt-free joy. When we show ourselves kindness and remove external pressure, we provide a rich environment for creativity, love, joy, sparkle, giggles, and the occasional bout of teasing ourselves.
This is where hope takes root, and those genuine feelings are positive reinforcement for living with mental illness with grace (messy grace lbh) and a glimpse at what life might be like as we work through some of this baggage.
It’s not all cynicism and disdain over here, I promise. The whole purpose of MHAM is to reduce stigma, promote understanding, and encourage support for those struggling with their mental health (I’m taking a deeper dive into this next week).
We’ve become a whole lot better at democratizing mental illness and debunking this general concept that you can (and should) be 100% well 100% of the time. That’s just silly and feeds right into the sometimes insidious “happy and healthy” social media highlight reel.
When I say “democratizing” mental illness, I mean that those of us who speak openly about mental health have made it very clear that anyone, regardless of age, race, body type, sexual orientation, etc., can struggle with mental illness and that you shouldn’t have to be a young, conventionally attractive, well-off white woman who eats avocado toast every other day and lives in a big city to access care (no offense to this particular group of ladies).
By what I see on Instagram, I think we have also become more supportive of people who don’t look like us – supporting rather than masking judgment with suggestions for improvement.
Well, as is the case with most trendy movements or topics, MHAM is more often superficial than substantive. This can look like:
The list goes on. What happy and healthy means to me is genuine joy and pleasurable moments, or even days or weeks. It doesn’t have to be big, loud or any of those things. It just has to feel true to you.
So yes, we need mental health services, care and resources now more than ever, but let’s not feel pressured by performative “wellness” slogans and highlights.
Remember: you’re enough just as you are.
P.S. We have also started using therapy-speak WAY more in the last few years which is, in my opinion, absolutely ridiculous. Can social videos help us think about things in a new way or help explain or give context to how we’re feeling or reacting? Sure! But we’re not all therapists so let’s not use clinical language over brunch.
Navigate
Location
I’m based in Stockholm, Sweden.
Sign up for my weekly newsletter to get all the good stuff straight to your inbox (no spamming).
© 2025 Braving Shadows | Privacy Policy
5 Responses
Interesting take that I had not considered. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for the feedback 🙂 There are so many ways to look at it!
Micro moments… taking pleasure in the small things. So true!
Yes! They build up and help to center 🙂
Thanks for sharing!